May 18 ~Love Means Taking Responsibility for Making Each Other Better.

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Fifth Sunday of Easter

Acts 11:1-18

Psalm 148

Revelation 21:1-6

John 13:31-35

(The context of this sermon was 100% written in Canada by a human)

Jesus makes it pretty easy this week, or at least he appears to do so. He spells it out for all of us – the secret to being a good person, an honest citizen, a faithful Christian. It comes down to three words, and if we all left this place this morning living out these words, the world would be a better place because of it. It is the secret to happiness, the bringer of joy, and the vehicle for peace. Three simple words: Love one another.

Jesus, and those who recorded our sacred text, understood how important this message was, because it is pretty much the last one we get from him. Jesus is going, he tells the disciples, where they cannot follow – not yet. So, he leaves them with a new commandment: “Love one another,” he says, “just as I have loved you. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

With these three words, Jesus does a very powerful thing: he moves the followers firmly away from law, and toward grace. The Old Testament gives us a set of very different commandments, ones which we have used even in these modern times to build and structure society, to maintain order. It is perhaps the story we know best of the Old Testament – how Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the stone tablets, dictated to him by God, and presented a new set of rules for God’s people. I am sure that many of you can rattle them off. I wonder in fact how many of us would remember the 11th commandment?

The commandments that Moses brought down from the mountain fell into several categories. There were the ones designed to maintain healthy community - We shall not kill, we shall not steal or covet another’s possession or tell lies about another person. There are the commandments designed to preserve family – thou shall not commit adultery and always honour your mother and father. The commandment meant to keep our lives balanced: to keep one day for rest. And the commandments meant to keep us close to God: to not take God’s name lightly, or create false idols, and to honour God above all other things that might tempt our worship. Those are all good rules—upon them we have built a great civilization, if a flawed one. But in the end, what Jesus was saying to us, is that life must go beyond following rules.

In fact, as is so often the case, Jesus was well ahead of his time. We talk about Jesus as a teacher, a preacher, a healer and a shepherd. But we should also see Jesus as psychologist, sociologist, and scientist. Thousands of years after Jesus said, “Love one another” and put it at the very top, above all other commandments, happiness researchers have reported the same finding, over and over and over again. The most essential ingredient for happiness is not money, not mindfulness, not gratitude journals, not therapy. The most essential ingredient for happiness is healthy community. This comes at the very top of all the other happiness interventions. Happiness is created when we feel supported by others, when we trust our neighbors, when we have friends we can call on in times of need.

But this makes sense -- right? What is the best way to use our money but to share it, to create experiences, to put it to good works in our community? How can we be mindful and at peace if we are anxious and alone? What do we have to be truly grateful about if we don’t trust those around us, and also act in a trustworthy way towards them? And as for therapy – well I think that is a valuable exercise – but even here the research shows that the quality of the relationship you have with a therapist is more important than any particular approach they may use. Again, what matters is a sense of community, care, and trust.

And so this commandment to “love one another” is an important guide for us. It should mark our decisions when we consider public policy, when we think about building inclusive communities, when we decide our priorities. Do they come from a place of love?

And yet these three simple words are also the most complicated commandment.

Because love, while often reduced to unicorns and rainbows, is also a complex emotion. So I want to say something about this commandment, that I think will be important for a many of you. The commandment does not come with exceptions or caveats, but the gospel calls us to consider what it truly means to “love one another.” What does it look like in the world?

Jesus would want that love to involve risks – to love those who are alone, who are poor in spirit or means, who are in danger - requires action and sacrifice and often risk, because often we cannot guarantee success.

But serving those who are in pain or vulnerable does not mean putting ourselves at risk, mentally or physically. Loving one another also means loving ourselves – otherwise how can we ever truly and faithfully love anyone? Sometimes, loving one another requires boundaries and distance. These can also be acts of love done to repair relationships, or to give time for perspective, or to allow us to focus our loving action on those who need it more.

The commandment to love one another does not rob us of free will. Love can help us see the other side of a person and have empathy for them. Love is boundless, we never run out of it, and we should and must, according to the gospel, feel it even for our enemies and those who wrong us. But while our ability to love may be infinite, our time is not. We are allowed to prioritize the needs of others, and to choose where most to invest our time.

This is indeed how the commandments that Jesus places under “Love one another” serve us best. Not because they give us law from which we can never bend. But because they allow us to focus our good works. If love leads everything, then we do not universally condemn the murderer or the thief or the one who covets; we consider the context and nuance of the situation; we do not reject summarily the one who fails to honour their family or God. We seek to understand.

We can love without excusing terrible actions in principle, but love offers us a deeper understanding so that we may reach out as a caring, supportive community. There is no one version of love, and no one version of healing. Surely the diverse stories in the gospel teach us not to limit ourselves to a single definition. To do so is not love but judgement. To do so is not grace, but law.

This is the example that Jesus sets for us. The love Jesus felt for the disciples did not falter, whatever they did. But he loved them at different times in different ways – appealing to their search for meaning when he beckoned them out of the sea to fish for people, scolding Peter when he wanted Jesus to choose self-preservation over his ministry, gently counseling Mary and Martha when they squabbled over whose job was more important. Even his act of listening to the woman at the well was one of love: he saw her as a person of value, where others did not, one of the most important gifts of the loving heart.

And so we must choose love. But not the squishy kind on birthday cards. The kind of love that is unconditional but wise. A love that works hard but also sets priorities. A love that doesn’t judge but seeks to understand. Love that assumes the best of others, and a love that also sees the worst, but responds with compassion.

This commandment, then, may be the hardest all of the others. For it requires the most contemplation, the most wisdom, the most compassionate understanding on our part.

Jesus didn’t walk around those dusty roads holding the hands of his followers, talking in fluffy platitudes. He pushed them and prodded them. He forced them to see where they were going wrong, and he challenged them to make it better. Love doesn’t mean letting everyone off the hook – it means that we take responsibility for making one another better. And while “Love one another” sounds as though it’s all about serving others, it’s really also about saving ourselves.

That is all we need to do, Jesus is saying, to be known as one of the disciples. We don’t need to drag people into church, or to convince them we are right. We don’t need to force them to live by our ways. We don’t need law – we need grace. Following this commandment – the most important of commandments - is the most crucial part about Christian. I hope we all can try to remember this the next time we get a little too caught up in the rules, and our own idea of what is right, to let these three words guide our days: Love one another. Amen